Preparing Your Child for a New Sibling

You're expecting baby number two, and you're excited. But you're also worried about how your firstborn will handle it. Will they be jealous? Aggressive? Heartbroken? How do you prepare them for this massive change?

The transition to siblinghood is huge. Your child's entire world is about to shift. They're going from being the center of your universe to sharing you with someone else. That's hard, no matter how well you prepare them.

But with the right approach, you can help your child adjust and even embrace their new role as big brother or sister.

When to Tell Them

The timing depends on your child's age. For toddlers under three, wait until the third trimester. They don't have a good concept of time, so telling them too early just creates confusion.

For preschoolers, you can tell them earlier, around the second trimester. They can understand "in a few months" better than toddlers. For school-age children, you can tell them whenever you're ready. They can handle the wait and might even be excited to help prepare.

How to Tell Them

Keep it simple and positive. "There's a baby growing in Mommy's tummy. In a few months, you're going to be a big brother!" Let them ask questions and answer honestly at their level.

Read books about becoming a big sibling. There are dozens of great children's books on this topic. Let them feel the baby kick if they're interested, but don't force it. Some kids are fascinated, others aren't.

Preparing for the Change

Involve them in preparations. Let them help set up the nursery, pick out baby items, or choose a coming-home outfit. This builds excitement and ownership.

Make any big transitions before the baby arrives. If you're moving them to a new room or transitioning to a big kid bed, do it at least a month before the baby comes. You don't want them to feel displaced.

Talk about what life will be like with a baby. Be honest that babies cry a lot, need lots of care, and can't play yet. But also talk about the fun parts—teaching the baby things, watching them grow, being a helper.

Practice gentle touch with dolls. Show them how to hold a baby, touch gently, and be quiet when the baby sleeps.

When Baby Arrives

Let them meet the baby soon, but on their terms. Some kids are immediately interested, others need time. Don't force interaction.

Have a gift "from the baby" for the older child. This helps them feel special too. Make sure visitors pay attention to the older child, not just the baby. Ask them to greet the older child first.

Maintain routines as much as possible. When everything else is changing, familiar routines provide security. Spend one-on-one time with your older child daily, even if it's just 15 minutes. This reassures them they're still important.

Handling Regression

It's common for older children to regress when a new baby arrives. They might have accidents after being potty trained, want a bottle, or act like a baby. This is normal and temporary.

Don't punish regression. It's their way of saying "I need attention too." Give them extra love and reassurance. The regression will pass as they adjust.

Managing Jealousy

Some jealousy is inevitable and healthy. Acknowledge their feelings. "I know it's hard to share Mommy. You're feeling jealous, and that's okay." Never force them to love the baby. Love develops over time.

Watch for aggressive behavior toward the baby and intervene immediately. Never leave them alone together until you're confident the older child won't hurt the baby.

Give them appropriate ways to help. "Can you bring me a diaper?" "Can you sing to the baby?" This helps them feel involved and important.

The Long View

The first few months are the hardest. Your older child is adjusting to massive change while you're exhausted and focused on the baby. Be patient with everyone, including yourself.

Most children adjust within a few months and start to enjoy their sibling. The relationship will evolve over time. They might fight constantly as toddlers but become best friends as they grow.

Your job is to help them through the transition with love, patience, and realistic expectations. It won't be perfect, but it will be okay. And one day, you'll watch them play together and be grateful you gave them the gift of a sibling.